


Second Wind

by enokibean



Category: Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Blood and Injury, Fluff and Angst, I genuinely don't know what else to add, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26577313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enokibean/pseuds/enokibean
Summary: When you are a mercenary, you must be prepared to cross blades with anyone who opposes the side you're fighting for, even if that person is a loved one.For Gatrie and Shinon, this has been clear since day one, but when fate pulls a bad move on them, they find themselves in a position where it's either do or die—and neither of them wants to die.
Relationships: Gatrie/Shinon (Fire Emblem)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	Second Wind

“Shi-Shinon? SHINON?!”

I was beyond myself. To see him again in front of me, after so long, after trying to reason with him to stay and failing miserably. Part of me felt as though I had been granted a second chance; an opportunity to make things right once more, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.

A few seconds passed before my smile faded like a dying flame. His eyes were cold as the night itself—foreign and unforgiving. It didn’t take a single word from him for me to realize what really was going on. Could it be any more obvious?

“Oh, this can’t be happening!”

I was a fool. I knew exactly what kind of person he was, I could have expected as much from him. And I feared that one day, our paths would cross exactly like this.  
I was such a big fool.

“I mean, fighting you… that’s going to be tough.”

He didn’t even blink as his viridian gaze pierced against mine. It wasn’t the same pair of eyes I used to know. Something about him had changed, I could tell. I could tell perfectly, something wasn’t right with him, and I wanted to know what it was, but I was running out of time, the more I let my thoughts race.

“Come on, Gatrie. You can’t be worried about me forever.”

It was almost as if he could read my eyes, somehow. I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to feign a smile right at that moment, putting up a bravado in hopes he wouldn’t be able to pry into me any further. I couldn’t let him see me vulnerable in front of him, much less moments before the inevitable would occur. I had to get a hold of myself, and quick.

“You’re a mercenary. All you need to do is worry about your own skin. You got it?”

At the very least, that aspect of him hadn’t changed at all. I could finally recognize that silhouette in front of me that was so familiar to my eyes, even more than my own. That only made it all the tougher, however. I will never forget that day, and I will carry it with me ‘til the end.

“Well, yeah… heh heh heh… ahh… still… this will be a sad day…”

I could see it right then, a smile on that dumb face of his, one I probably wouldn’t have earned had I shown my true colors; how I really felt right then and there. It was horrible. I don’t know how I did it, but I raised my lance and hoped for the best—or the worst.

Everything after that turned into a haze. My body moved on its own, following my own fighting instinct; fighting only to survive, and nothing else, even though life after this would hardly ever be the same. I would carry a burden heavier than the world itself on my shoulders. I wouldn’t be able to call it life anymore.

And after just a moment, it was all over. The floor was dyed in a red hue, the same that painted my own hands, and my weapon. My own respiration manifesting in thick clouds of cold right in front of me, as I struggled to draw breath into my lungs. My legs were shaking, and I felt as if I was one second away from crumbling down in my own misery.

But I couldn’t. I had done what any other mercenary would have done as well, didn’t I? It was just a cruel play of fate itself. It couldn’t be helped. That’s just how things work in this life, is something Shinon would have said to me.

I noticed after some time that an arrow had found its way into my arm, but it was nothing compared to the tightness in my chest that squeezed the life out of me. Like a fast-acting poison, it devoured any and every trace of positive feeling inside of me, rendering me useless. I was trapped in a void, refusing to acknowledge the chaos that unfolded all around me, my gaze fixed on the body of a man I used to know, right by my feet.

But what came after that stung a far greater pain inside of me that I could ever imagine.

“Unh…”

My heart jumped out of my chest, threatening to even pierce a hole through the thick metal of my armor. He was coughing blood and breathing with difficulty, holding on to life by a feeble thread.

“…Messed that up, didn’t I…

What a…lousy life…that was…”

I swallowed hard, so hard I forgot how to breathe for a second, color draining from my face near instantly as I gasped helplessly. I wanted to shout so loudly, but a heavy silence lingered in me. It was the most hopeless feeling in the world. There was a man dying in front of me, and I could do nothing to help. I stood there, stupid, eyes wide as I tried to process what the hell was going on, until I couldn’t bear it anymore.

I had to do something. It was now, or never again.

“RHYS!!!”

I screamed at the top of my lungs, so loud it even drowned the sound of flying arrows and the clash of swords between our army and the enemy’s own. It was then just a matter of seconds before help came to us. I tried to talk, to say something, but the pain from my freshly inflicted wounds quickly caught up to me, increased tenfold, so I remained as perfectly still as I could while my wounds were being tended to, but never for a second did I rip my eyes off him. At that moment, I knew I valued his life more than my own, right then.

In the end, we managed to seize victory and pushed forward. Victory had never tasted so bitter to me before. I couldn’t even bring myself to call it that, really. Anxiety chained me down, I was barely able to focus, no longer able to express emotion properly for as long as doubt plagued my mind. I wanted to know—I needed to know.  
Would he be alright? Would I be able to see him again?

Only time would tell. But for a man like me, seconds lasted whole hours. I was trapped in an eternity, and time was worst punishment of them all.

\---

But even then, time never waits. Hours passed before everyone’s eyes, and soon enough the moon would pay them a visit. A clear, white-speckled sky was upon the Crimean Liberation Army’s campsite, torches blazing in the midst of the dead night and the chill of the evening breeze lingered in the air, forcing everyone to seek refuge within the tents and rest.

One of the knights had a request, however. One that Ike himself granted him, not that he would ever oppose to it in the first place, but he definitely understood why that was being requested of him. The knight wanted to be allowed to spend the night with the injured man from today’s battle, and he would prefer to be left alone with him.

A bit of hesitance came from Mist, equally worried about the person in question, but according to Rhys himself, the man is out of mortal danger. They will still have to run a few check-ups next morning, but he should be fine enough for Ike to grant this knight his request. He bowed in gratitude, but now before letting out a yelp of pain, immediately alarming Mist and Rhys—his wounds were still closing, and they reprimanded him for being so careless about it.

He finally managed to smile however, his hand combing the blond hair on the back of his head as he let a silly chuckle out, brushing off the pain. He knew he’d have to save it for later, when he made his way to that one tent, and would have to force himself to remember what had transpired earlier.

Gatrie let a sigh out, huddling against the warmth of the blanket that was provided for him as he sat in silence, gaze fixed on Shinon, who laid right beside him, under an equally thick blanket so that he wouldn’t be bothered by Daein’s numbing cold nights. He had such a peaceful expression on his face, completely foreign to the excruciating pain that was once defined by his features, tainted by the blood.

He shook his head lightly in an attempt to brush those flashbacks off his mind for the time being. It’s no use dwelling in such thoughts. The storm had already passed, and it was time for him to take a breather now. Just try to remain as calm as he could, light was already being shed on it, there’s no use worrying anymore. He simply needed to be patient now. And in fact, that same patience was what made him aware of what happened next.

“Unnh…”

Gatrie felt his heart spring all the way up to his throat, prompting him to gulp heavily as his jaw dropped lightly, watching the redhead squirm around weakly and slowly drifting back into consciousness. His eyelids parted, revealing his drowsy gaze which wandered around for a short while before settling on Gatrie’s silhouette, presumably attempting to identify it beyond the brief haze of his eyes. 

“…Gatrie…? I’m…alive?”

Shutting his eyes once more, Shinon grimaced almost immediately after realizing he had made a wrong move. His wounds were no joking matter, so it was in his best interest that he avoided moving for the time being. Any reckless motions could easily cause his wounds to open up again, and blood would flow out like a river’s current—or maybe not, but Gatrie sure pictured it that way.

“Don’t move! You’re supposed to lay down now.”

Gatrie spoke out as gently as he could. He couldn’t afford to raise his voice, the rest of Ike’s men were resting, and inconveniencing anyone after Ike graciously let him have some alone time with his best friend was simply out of the question.

The sniped opened his eyes again, this time more awake than he is tired, and turned his head to the side to look at Gatrie directly in the eyes, that dulled verdant gaze of his telling him exactly what he feared the most for.

“Why didn’t you kill me?”

“I thought I had, really. But when I realized you weren’t, I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t bring myself to kill you for good.”

“Pah.”

Shinon completely averted his face now, turning to stare holes against the opposite side of the tent, a subtle frown present on his visage. Was he truly that annoyed that Gatrie had spared his life like that? Despite everything, Gatrie manages to curve his lips into a smile. That reaction was one he could only get from Shinon out of anyone in the entire world, he was sure of it, and he was happy to receive it. Never mind if he was being indifferent, if it was Shinon, then it didn’t matter to him at all. He would get some comfort out of it, just because it’s Shinon.

“Try not to sound so disappointed in me.”

“This isn’t how it was supposed to be.”

“What makes you say that? The way I see it, it’s the other way around. Maybe this is exactly how it’s supposed to be.”

The blond revealed that big, contagious smile of his—a thin layer of sorrow underlying those pearly whites still, but he was trying this time. He wouldn’t let Shinon go so easily anymore. Third time’s the charm, right?

A sigh from the archer follows, welcoming the coziness of his blanket at last. Even he knows he doesn’t stand a chance against the wintery nights of Daein. One step outside and it’s hasta la vista for him.

“You’re full of crap, Gatrie.”

“Hee hee! I thought I wouldn’t ever hear you give me a hard time ever again.”

That probably came out way heavier than intended. It felt tense all around him, Shinon had abstained from giving him an answer to his statement, and the knight forcibly withdrew his smile, eyes wandering aimlessly around the tent, looking for a distraction—anything. There was no escaping the present, however. Gatrie had learned that much today.

“I didn’t hold back. I promise you that, Shinon. There was no way I could. I knew you’d forever hate me if I ever did. If we truly had to fight, then I was committed to giving it my all. Still…the thought of you, dying? It was too much for me.”

Exhaling sharply, as if releasing his burdens from within, he picked himself up, looking at Shinon even if he refused to do the same. He knew the other could hear him, and that was enough for him, for now.

“After everything we’ve gone through, I simply couldn’t. You were in so much pain, and I—”

“Shut your mouth, Gatrie. That’s enough.”

Cut in the middle of a sentence all of a sudden, Gatrie decided to give it a rest. Perhaps it was too much for him right now, and he knew he had to prioritize Shinon’s wellbeing more than anything else. Stressing him out wasn’t a difficult task at all, especially for a guy like Gatrie who seems to excel at it.

His head dropped, and he wove his eyebrows together, a hint of sadness in his face. What gives, though, he already heard what Shinon had to say—which wasn’t much, but he was clearly bitter about it all, as if he was rejecting the outcome of their fight entirely, not even slightly content with it.

That awkward silence between them lingered for a few minutes before Shinon opened his mouth, but no words came out of him. He was pensive, just as he was frustrated, and he knew there was something he had to get out of his chest all the same, but couldn’t bring himself to. He never could, no matter what, and he was decided to hold on to those feelings for eternity if he had to. He is far too prideful for that.

Or so he thought. But there always comes a time someone reaches their breaking point, and they cannot hold on to something in secrecy for much longer before they feel they’re about to burst out. He was starting to shake, hands and feet wrapped in frost from his nerves.

Shinon. Nervous. Invaded by trepidation, hesitant for once in his life. He usually deals with his problems by downing however much alcohol is necessary to make a blur out of everything before he involuntarily passes and blocks out any vexatious thoughts or feelings, but there was no easy exit this time, and besides… it was Gatrie. If he had to choose one person to display vulnerability to, it would probably be him, but in this case, he would probably be his last pick—if he had any other candidates whatsoever, which, for the record, he doesn’t have.

It takes him a moment to muster up some courage, still unsure if he should do it, but if part of him is certain, at least, then it’s worth a shot—and Shinon knows that he never misses any shots. Not a single one of them.

“It was me who couldn’t do it.”

Surprised by the voice of his former brother-in-arms, his eyes immediately followed the source of those words, staring at him attentively, waiting for more.  
“Pathetic, isn’t it? I failed miserably.”

“Wha? Shinon, that’s not—”

“Shut up and listen!”

Surprised, the knight falls silent once more. It’s best not to give Shinon more reasons to shout in the middle of the night, even if those reasons aren’t necessarily justified. He can be in the right for all it matters; he’s just going to zip it until Shinon’s done talking if that’s what it takes to keep him calm.

“…You are the one person I couldn’t ever bring myself to kill.”

Those words fell heavy to his ears. His apparent victory made much more sense that way, and he now understood why Shinon felt the way he did—or did he, truly? He wouldn’t risk it so quickly, so he let a few moments pass before he dared open his mouth again. Shinon wouldn’t say a single word after he dropped that on him, possibly signaling Gatrie that it was his time to talk now. About time, too.

“Shinon?”

“What do you want.”

“Did you hold back? When we were fighting.”

He couldn’t have seen it, but he almost heard the way Shinon cringed on the spot, buckling his shoulders as his clothes rustled against the fabric of the blanket, signaling some movement. Gatrie wasn’t expecting this at all, especially after the words they exchanged moments before their battle begun. Shinon had that decisive look in his eyes, ready to put his life on the line if it meant a chance on surviving to collect the bounty on Gatrie’s head, along with everyone else’s on Greil’s former company.

Was that the thing about him that seemed different, then? Was Gatrie truly able to read Shinon for a second, even if he didn’t even consider the possibility of Shinon ever wanting to hold back against someone in a fight? It would make perfect sense, seeing how Shinon was capable of doing the same. He knew Gatrie was worried, and that he had realized they wouldn’t get past each other without fighting beforehand. Had Shinon not fully accepted that, then? Gatrie felt his stomach turn. How was he able to fight against his friend like that when the other wasn’t giving him his best?

“I was sure of it. I knew I had to kill you if I wanted to survive. There was no doubt in my mind, I was decided to do it.”

“Then…?”

“Then, when the time finally came, I hesitated. Right as I drew my bow for the first shot, I felt my arm tremble, and I knew my arrow wouldn’t do much. I saw you charging towards me, and I knew you weren’t holding back, unlike me. I accepted my death before it would inevitably come to me. I thought I was done for, and quite frankly, I would have accepted it, because it was by your hand. I wouldn’t have had a single regret, had it turned out like that.”

A pit formed inside of Gatrie. A bottomless abyss that made him feel sick, like he was some heartless monster, capable of hurting his friend to the point he was left barely clinging to life. And he should have died, but it took a miracle for Shinon to survive that stabbing. What’s worse, Gatrie couldn’t even recall anything. All memory of his fight against Shinon was nothing but a blur now, and he’s positive it was a blur even then.

“But now I’m here. Alive. And so are you. What’s worse, I know I should have died there, but life itself pities me. I’d wager you a year worth of my salary that Ike is going to try and rope me back with the mercenaries. Too bad I don’t even have a salary now.”

Telling him he’d have one if he rejoined the Greil Mercenaries would likely only rub salt on the wound, and he had already established with himself that he would avoid pissing Shinon off as much as he could, for both their sakes.

“I could have killed you, though. I chose not to.”

And that much was true. Gatrie definitely had the opportunity to deliver the true fatal blow against Shinon, but he couldn’t. He was frozen solid, petrified like a statue right beside what he presumed was the corpse of his good friend, who he had just killed. Much to his surprise, Shinon was still alive though, and that’s precisely what made him snap back to his senses, and call for help.

“Because I couldn’t, either. I’m not like you, so I can’t tell you that you are the only person I couldn’t bring myself to kill. There are many people I wouldn’t turn my lance against, but you are one special case amongst them all. You are the last person I would want to see dead, believe me! The very last on the list.”

What’s done is done, and there’s no turning back, now. Shinon had let himself be vulnerable to Gatrie, and he thought he would regret it, but surprisingly, that wasn’t the case. It was a strange feeling, something he wasn’t used to, but he didn’t absolutely loathe it, either. It’s like tasting new medicine—you’re never sure what to expect, and while it may not necessarily be horrid, it’s not something you can label as pleasant right away. You either get used to the taste or never drink it again. Shinon was down to take the risk.

Turning on his back, he decided to glance at the blond once more, and their eyes meet in silence for a moment, as if mutually waiting for more input on the matter. Gatrie expected an answer, and Shinon a continuation, but nothing happened.

“Lay down and get some rest. You need it, too.” Shinon finally spoke out, closing his eyes and taking one sharp breath, ready to shove everything under a rug and forget it with a good night’s sleep. Gatrie didn’t seem to mind that either, doing just as Shinon said and taking the spot next to him as he laid down carefully, narrowly averting the sharp pain on his side from the wound inflicted by the archer, nowhere near as lethal as the other he inflicted back on him, though.

“How’s your wound? Does it hurt?”

“It’s gonna be fine. It stings some, but I’ve had worse.” A blatant lie, but he knew Gatrie could be naïve at times.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take care of you tomorrow. Ike will pay me soon, so I can get you all the medicine you need.” Gatrie whispers, a gentle smile forming on his face after he speaks.  
“I don’t need you to buy me any medicine.”

“But I want to! I feel responsible for this. Just let me do it, okay? It’s no different from paying for dinner. Just a tad bit more expensive, maybe… I’m sure it’ll be worth it, though.”  
“Are you deaf? I don’t want it. Now sleep.”

“Hee hee,” Gatrie snickers out, burrowing himself under his blanket.

“What’s so funny now?”

“Oh, nothing! Just that there’s nothing you can do to stop me from doing what I want with my money now.”

“I couldn’t care less what you do with it. Probably going to empty your pouch in the hands of some selfish woman like always.”

“No! You don’t get it, do you?”

“Not really, no.”

And before Shinon can prepare himself for an answer, he feels warmth suddenly build up on his right side, finding Gatrie closer to him than he has ever been before, with his arm around his head, hand pressed against the smoothness of his cheek as his thumb caressed on it with a distinct gentleness to it.

“I will make sure you stand on your own two feet as soon as possible. I will work my butt off for it if I must. I know that now, because earlier today I thought I wouldn’t ever see you again, and it messed with me badly. So badly, you don’t understand, Shinon,” Gatrie blurted out hurriedly, barely able to keep his nerves on check.

A wide-eyed Shinon turned his eyes to the side, staring deeply into Gatrie’s eyes—unmistakably charming and beautiful up close. He knew it wasn’t a mere coincidence that he felt the way he did right now, either. It all made sense to him in the end, or it did all along, and it took him this long to fully accept it.

“A life without you isn’t worth living! And I’m serious about it. I need you by my side to nag at me every time I do something stupid, and when I don’t, too. You have been there for me for so many years… I have even lost count! Hee hee,” he can feel heat rushing all the way up to his cheeks, his face quite possibly flaring up in a deep pink hue as he struggles to get his message across in an ocean of thoughts and words.

“Shinon, I was so scared,” his voice breaks for a moment, followed by a gasp, “I thought I would never see your face again, and it would have been my fault, you know? I died for a moment there, when I thought I had done it, I really thought it was all over,” his bottom lip quivers, barely able to hold back a sob. “Don’t say you’d rather be dead. Please.”

His hand grew colder, but the circular motion of his thumb on the redhead’s cheek didn’t cease in the slightest, growing only more tender as he dragged his words out and long. “Stay with me, Shinon. I don’t care if you’re not a pretty girl, you’re still pretty to me, in a cool kind of way…”

Gatrie felt how Shinon’s expression turned into a glare quickly, but it only humored him further—even his glares were special to him. Everything about Shinon made him the person he was, and there was no other he’d rather spend his life around than that cranky redhead he has had for a partner his entire life so far.

“Please?”

Those big, puppy-like eyes of his were difficult to resist. Shinon could, from a distance, as always, but seeing him so up close, the warmth of his body practically radiating against his own; so welcoming and strangely pleasant to him. He simply couldn’t close himself to that opportunity.

Discreetly averting his gaze, Shinon presses his cheek further against Gatrie’s hand, just lightly rubbing himself against it as a sign of consent. “You’re helpless,” he adds, finally closing his eyes, not raising a single complaint about the lack of personal space as usual. This time, Gatrie could feel Shinon growing comfortable around him, in a completely different, new way, one he was convinced he could get used to, for the rest of his days.

“You are definitely the one, Shinon. I’m sure of it.”

“You say that to every girl you hit on. Can’t you at least save it for when you pay for our dinner next time?”

“Tee hee hee! I’ll just have to keep reminding you, then.”

“Don’t.” Shinon says with a light snort, rewarding Gatrie with the slightest of smiles, which Gatrie reciprocates with one of his own. Not his usual toothy grins, but a soft, meaningful one that conveys the same serenity that his hand does as it soothes the redhead to sleep, along with himself.

“…Stay with me…forever...Shinon…” The knight slurred out moments before finally dozing off. Shinon doesn’t move his hand aside, and instead lets him keep it on his face for the rest of the night. It’s a weird feeling, but he’s going to get used to it, he’s sure of that.

Just as he is sure that, even if he feels hesitant—terrified, even—he is going to be fine, because it’s Gatrie. He knows there is still a lot ahead of him, and recovering will be a huge process, but at least he has Gatrie with him, like always, as things are ultimately meant to be. In the end, he knows that despite feeling scared, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Not my best work admittedly but I had to get back on track somehow, I might write up a continuation sometime in the future, idk, depends on how inspired I feel in the next couple days. Thanks so much for reading! <3


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